Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Looking Quite Insane

I recently read a quote online that I liked... Angela Monet said, "Those who danced look quite insane to those who didn’t hear the music."  I wanted to see who she was, so I went a Googling.   I found out she basically didn't exist, but someone had attributed the quote to her and it got repeated by others. So there it sits on the web, she seems to be a fairly well quoted but Angela walked with God and was not.  Nonetheless, I still like the quote.  While trying to find her I saw another quote that resonated with me, by Benjamin Jowett "You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy (or most clergy, my input) say." and no I am not going to see if Ben exists or existed.  
  Anyway back to Angela... I have had people say things about me like "Oh you're just traveling a different road" or "You've been given a special experience".   If that's the case, so be it, but I don't believe that is true.  Back a few years and possibly a decade ago I was reading a book, I think on getting answers to prayer or praying, it was talking about someone that instead of just praying about something, the first thing he did was to get into the tangible presence of the Father. Then while praying, he would find the direction to pray or find that the request should be changed.  He found by doing this a large number of his requests were being answered. Around the same time I was hearing people on recordings talk about "soaking" or just sitting before the Father in silence, I also had in the back of my mind a book that I had read several times called The Hidden Life of Prayer  (which is an old book that is now on the web for free) in which it described the prayer life of several people who lived long ago 1800-1930s.  These all had a common thread, sitting quietly before God, often in a specific room or an actual closet.  Even though I had always been "too busy", I decided it was time to set aside some time and do it.
   I started with 10-20 minutes in the morning, with my favorite music (and often just one song on repeat) playing softly, I would stand, sit or lay down and try to be quiet in body and mind (the laying down one was the easiest because I would often fall asleep). After several weeks of not really gaining anything, or so it seemed, and a friend that was doing the same was seeing visions and such (very discouraging, at the time) I kept going.  Probably about the fourth week I started noticing His strong tangible presence around me.  By this time I had gone from 15 minutes of sleep and boredom, to over an hour of quietly waiting before Him.  Yep, just standing there in a fairly dark room (less distraction) with music playing and me being quiet, sometimes with my arms raised, but His presence was, at times, too much to handle.  It wasn't that I was on some special path that was destined for me, it was that I had put in time cultivating my relationship with the Father and He was rewarding me with His great tangible love and presence.  I am sure that if someone had been watching me they would think I was quite insane, but they of course could not "hear the music" or feel His presence.  I would come back to that quiet spot in the middle of the night or start to get caught up before meetings and not want to leave.  The thing was I was being changed without any other effort.  People (including my family) started noticing too.
   It is not taught or caught by the laying on of hands, it is in the doing.


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