Conformity is an Enemy Part 2

  Why would conformity be an enemy when the Bible says that we are to be conformed to the image of Christ?   The problem arises when people try to get you to conform to their own image for you instead of helping you be all that you can be.    A majority of people will marry someone who is an opposite in personality to themselves.  I have noticed in my life people that have been my closest friends have had personalities that were opposite to me.  I am no psych major but as best I can see it is that subconsciously we can see the attributes in the other that we don’t possess and in a way it helps to complete us.  Then why after we were attracted to them, while dating, do those things that drew us together bother us?  For those that have been married, for at least several years, most will attest to a period where a spouse will usually try to change the way the other one acts.   Part of the answer is that you want someone to act like you so that the going is easier (selfishness).  I’ve seen couples get divorced and get married to someone just like the first spouse and then go through the same cycle (joy, discontentment, forced change, disillusionment, hurt feelings and finally divorce).

Pastors will do the same thing to make not only their life easier but their thinking is “It works for me so why won’t what I do work for them?”.   I have watched them try to conform people in their care to: pray in length and/or style also applying force to be like them in when or how they study the Word.  I have even seen where they think when God is telling them to “double up” their own devotional and prayer time and they  turn around and put that burden on others (this was coming from a body that was far beyond the normal church body out there resulting in a weary and condemned people that can’t do what is expected of them).  A pastor or spouse can show how they see and do things and explain the whys and then must leave the decision to the individual to do things that person sees best.

 Each one of us, because we are so completely different than anyone else (through genetic, psychological and experiential makeup) should each have our own ways that we communicate and act towards the Father.  My wife and I quickly realized that we needed to talk to and discipline each child we had differently.  What would motivate one could decimate another.  God knows how to deal with a harder nosed person like me and at the same time whisper softly to the gentle, shy soul.   When we try to conform people to our image we are distorting and hurting who they are and making them wear a mask so they will be acceptable to us.  We each have our own views and answers to life’s problems sometimes we need apposing ideas to get the best results.  Here’s a simple example Person A is pessimist he sees the glass half empty.  Person B is an optimist he sees the glass half full and says “Hey there’s a good amount of wine in that glass lets drink it!” Person A sees it half empty so therefore "It needs to be filled!”  Individually and by their lonesome they have one full glass (Person A) and one empty (Person B).  Together though, they are either going to argue about the perception of the glass or someone is going to get a little tipsy.

  We each are responsible to develop a relationship with the Father which is the same way we develop a relationship with another person.  It involves time and effort!  If you would invest a half hour a week with a “love interest” do you think that they thought you were serious about them?   (I am only counting outside church seeking and courting the Father. Think of it this way if God appeared in body in the service would the service be different? I generally have found most "church services" artificial and shallow.  I think if we worshiped a potential mate the way we say we do God in church our love interest would be asleep with boredom).

Be yourself and find out what you were created to be and become that person that your Father sees.